But before that, the best of Davezilla for the last two days:
This guy had the balls to change his name to Optimus Prime. Sweet. He is a member of Ohio's 5694th National Guard Unit, and Mr Prime said:
"I got a letter from a general at the Pentagon when the name change went through and he says it was great to have the employ of the commander of the Autobots in the National Guard."
Rock. There is also the American Military Operation Name Generating Device. I have seen some pretty cool ones. Nothing as Operation Fire The Wombat Strike, but some have come close.
Allright, on with it.
I applied for a student allowance last week, and waited for the money to flow like oil. Yesterday a letter arrived asking for my marriage certificate. "?" Wha? I'm not married. So I called them up and said "I'm not married, I don't have a marriage certificate, please to be giving me my money" Jeff at the call centre informed me that should be fine, but that someone would call me this morning.
Nobody called. So I called them and spoke to Jack. (Jeff, Jack... I'm slightly suspicous...) He didn't seem to know anything about my discussion with Jeff (1724, Monday, 24/3/03) and put me on hold for some time. He came back to me and told me that that was fine, one system said I was single, the other thought I was married, but that he would fix the married system so that it got it right.
"Good," I said. "You will need to sign a declaration and send it to us" Jack said. Oh, damn I thought. "Can I fax it to you?" "Only from a Studylink office" "?, oh that is ok I said, I'll do that now" "Ok, thanks" Now normally if someone told me I could only fax them from one of their own offices I would be annoyed, and think them stupid muh faces.
However, there is a studylink office across the road from our flat, so I didn't really mind.
So I went across talked to some guy (which I wasn't meant to do, you see apparently they have "call centres" for that kind of thing) and he took my stuff and said he would fax it off for me. "Should be there tomorrow" He said as I walked off.
? Tomorrow? This is a fax isn't it? It does send the information digitally through the phone lines directly to them at almost the speed of light does it not? Apparently not. Apprently Studylink takes a day to fax something. I should have guessed when there letter dated the 18th arrived on the 24th, I should have thought six days to get from PN to CHCH? What the... But I didn't. I should have, and can only assume that they continue to operate in the 20th century, perhaps with a faux fax machine. Nic suggests they may use pigeons.
Bah.
Also, it is a sad day when Waz is updating far more often than pretty muchg everyone else. You are all found wanting, I'm not sure what, possibly cock, because lets face it you all do. Possibly something else, like rhythm, but I doubt it.
Posted by luther at March 25, 2003 01:51 PM